EEC 013: Stop the Dreaded Drama: Tips for Ending Destructive Conflict

Your host Katrina Burrus, Ph.D, MCC is interviewing Patricia Porter, LCSW, AAP about Ending Destructive Conflict. Here are the questions asked.

Ending Destructive Conflict

What is destructive conflict and why did you decide to write your Minibook?

How do you know if you are in a destructive conflict and what do you need to be looking at?

If you want to move out of this destructive pattern, what can you do to prepare yourself for a different interaction?

How does ending destructive conflict relate to Executive Coaching?

Patricia Porter, LCSW, AAP

Patricia Porter, LCSW, AAP has worked extensively in the dispute resolution field since 1994 working with leaders in U.S. organizations such as Coca-Cola Enterprises, NASA, the Department of Homeland Security, Environmental Protection Agency, the Texas Department of Transportation, and Fortune 500 companies. She is a faculty member at Southern Methodist University teaching in the graduate dispute resolution program. Patricia is the Founder and President of Conflict Connections®, Inc. and the host of The Texas Conflict Coach® radio program since 2009. Patricia earned her Master’s in Social Work and holds her license as a clinical social worker and earned her designation in the Academy of Advanced Practitioners (AAP) with the national Association for Conflict Resolution. She earned her credentials as a CINERGY® Certified Advanced Conflict Management Coach recognized by the International Coach Federation. She works with the Boss Whispering® Institute using a cutting edge model for coaching abrasive leaders. When she is not coaching or mediating, Patricia presents and trains throughout the U.S. and abroad.

Ending Destructive Conflict

Ending a destructive conflict pattern means preparing yourself for a different interaction. Here are tips to end such a destructive conflict.

In the Minibuk, there is a section with focused questions to prepare for a different and constructive engagement. Let’s look at the following questions and some examples.

• What are your conflict resolution goals? (expound)
• What goals are not within your control? (give an example)
• What are the most important issues to discuss or resolve?
• What are you unmet needs and values? And those for the other person?
• What key messages do you want to deliver?
• How do you want to behave in these situations?
• What do you want to stay away from doing or saying so as not to trigger the other person?
• What obstacles might interfere with a productive conversation you want to be prepared for? (give an example)
• What questions remain unanswered?
• How do you want to be or show up in these situations regardless of what the other person says or does? (give an example)

Patricia Porter‘s Minibuk Stop The Dreaded Drama: 55 Tips for Ending Destructive Conflict is a great resource tool with easy to read strategies you can apply this approach in almost any situation. It can be purchased at www.conflictconnections.com

Excellent Executive Coaching podcasts are devoted to excellent executive coaching and excellent leadership coaching. Your host, Dr. Katrina Burrus is a First Master Certified Coach from the International Coaching Federation in Switzerland.  She has served as an adjunct professor at several universities, speaks around the world on the topics of Global Nomadic leadership and Managing Abrasive Leadership.  Katrina is also certified in Coaching Abrasive Leaders from the Boss Whispering Institute. She has been working as an executive coach for global leaders since 1994.

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